10 Ways To Avoid Being An Asshole
While navigating through this world, you are going to encounter assholes.
It’s just inevitable.
But through all the craziness, people are generally awesome.
Chances are if you’re reading this blog you fall into the category of awesome human being.
But it’s still incredibly easy to pick up some bad habits along the way.
You want to spread your awesomeness into the world and it’s much harder to do that when you have asshole habits.
Regardless of how you picked up these habits, it’s still 100% possible to change them.
Everything I list below are habits I’ve had to deal with in my own life.
Some I’ve conquered and some are a work in progress.
But all of them remain essential to avoiding the ways of an asshole.
Today we rewrite those bad habits and look at some simple and effective ways to NOT be an asshole.
1. Listen To People & Give A Shit
Very few people listen. I’ve been guilty of this one before. Blame it on short attention spans or whatever, but listening takes effort.
There is another human being in front of you trying to convey something. Pay attention and listen like your life depends on it.
If you’re a solid listener than you’ve already won half the battle.
The other half is giving a shit. This is where intentional listening comes in handy.
Intentional listening is a level above any other form of listening. Essentially you are creating a bubble between you and the other person.
Nothing can penetrate your conversation.
You become totally invested in the moment. You HEAR every word the other person has to say and FEEL every emotion.
Intentional listening should really be called genuine conversation because this is what happens every time you fall into the groove with someone and lose track of time.
DO THIS MORE. It’s too much fun not to do.
2. Live In Abundance
As I said before: Not giving a fuck about other people’s bullshit comes from a place of complete abundance. An asshole is coming from a place of scarcity.
They feel desperate and lacking in a specific area of life. A non-asshole lives life abundantly.
They have everything they need from friends, to work, to fitness, to life.
An asshole tries to control things they can’t control. They get pissed over the meaningless and benign.
A non-asshole already has everything.
They’ve locked down their 1% and have no reason to overcompensate.
3. Stay Humble
There is always more to learn. There are always people better than you. Stay a student of life.
No matter how far you rise in your life, keep learning.
Because life lessons are everywhere and if you let your ego get in the way you’ll stagnate and trail off.
4. Stay Confident
Being humble and confident may sound contradictory, but you can do both.
Confidence comes from doing something that scares the shit out of you until you become comfortable.
Regardless of your journey, we are all facing fears and doubts.
But by recognizing those fears and doing something despite it, we are conquering the beast and becoming more confident.
It’s also important to acknowledge your progress. Take a look back at what you’ve already done. Even if it’s day one for you, it’s okay. You are further along than people on day zero.
Take note of your progress and realize that you’ve done some seriously epic things already. Let that fuel your confidence.
5. Check Your Ego
Ego is both good and bad. It keeps you moving forward and progressing. But it also can prevent you from pushing past your comfort zone.
Every few months or so, take a step back from what you’re doing.
See what the hell is going on in your life and determine if your ego is holding you back from reaching your full potential.
6. Say What You Mean & Mean What You Say
This isn’t a site about social dynamics, but I think deliberate speaking is fucking magical.
Deliberate speaking is all about saying precisely what you want to say.
Being completely honest and upfront is not easy. I did a full month of it and failed pretty regularly.
But living an authentic life isn’t effortless.
By working on the habit of deliberate speaking you’ll become more true to yourself and people will resonate with that on a much higher level.
7. Be Wrong & Right At The Same Time
More contradictory sentences, I know. Stay with me!
Just about everybody reading this blog is forging their own path in one way or another.
I feel that a nine to five job is the shittiest existence in the world and I have some pretty strong points.
But there is still a certain percentage of the population that really enjoys working for someone.
I could argue my points all day but it wouldn’t make a difference. We can both be right at the same time.
What this comes down to is looking at shit from another person’s perspective.
This is a powerful idea that breeds an insane amount of growth.
Take a look at contradictory thoughts and open your eyes to the possibility of being right and wrong at the same time.
8. Stand for Something
Having an opinion is highly underrated these days. Don’t be neutral about everything.
Pick a side and make a stand on something you believe in. It can be a kick ass blog, a non-profit, or how you handle your relationships. It doesn’t matter.
Stand for something or live for nothing.
9. Know Yourself
This is a pretty heavy saying but it’s damn important. Knowing yourself ultimately comes down to two things.
1) Doing shit
Continuously try new things each and every day. Work hard and experiment. Figure out what you like and don’t like.
From hobbies, to food, to sleep, to relationships, to work. The list could go on for miles.
Self-awareness is the other big factor. When you are doing shit, you need to be aware of how you feel.
Does this new fitness regimen uplift you or bring you down?
Does this new job fulfill you or does it crush your soul?
Keep doing things and keep asking yourself the important questions.
10. Don’t Be Wal Mart
Wal Mart has everything you could ever need. There aim is to please everyone.
Don’t do that.
Pleasing everyone is an impossible endeavor. Just do what you feel is right and nothing more.
The people who gel with your line of thinking will like you for who you are.
Take It Slow
All of these take conscious effort and time to make happen. You won’t be able to conquer these all at once.
Also, if you’re guilty of a bunch of these habits, don’t worry all day and night about being an asshole.
Like I said in the beginning, you are probably awesome.
Now it’s time to fine tune your awesome personality and connect with the people around you a little bit better.
So spread your awesomeness, implement these habits, and lead by example.
Photo Cred: Felipe Tofani