The Transparency Chronicles #1

Oct 28

The Transparency Chronicles #1

I used to give updates every few months on my journey.

But I have totally neglected this for a long time.

That’s why I have created the transparency chronicles.

Every few months I’ll give an up close and personal look at my failures, successes, and what I’m struggling with.

As I’ve said in the past, being vulnerable only leads to good things.

You guys deserve to know the truth – no matter how good or bad.

This post is a lot of “Me, Me, Me.” If you’re not interested in that, than this one isn’t for you.

Let’s get to it.

Censorship & Staying True

Words.

They are how we communicate.

They are how I make money.

They are everything.

But when I lay down the word “Fuck” the world explodes.

We don’t have to put so much weight on our words.

We are not defined by words, we are defined by actions.

I get emails and unsubscribes complaining about the profanity on this site.

If it’s not your thing. That’s totally okay.

But I will never censor myself. I don’t want this blog to be radio-friendly.

I want people to come here for raw honesty.

When people guest post here, I let them know you don’t have to hold anything back.

With all that being said, I’m not swearing like a sailor every day and I want this blog to be a direct reflection of my life.

Profanity is something that naturally happens. So I’ll never censor myself but I’ll never force myself to cuss when writing.

I’ve been guilty of it in the past, and it looks pretty rough.

I will continue to stay true to myself and grow this blog in a manner I feel is right. Never selling out and never saying shit I don’t believe in.

Coaching

I’m deeply in love with coaching. It’s so freakin’ rewarding to do this. Every time I get on a call I have an absolute blast. I jam with a client for an hour and by the time the call is over, I feel like a million bucks.

I’ve come to find that I’m a blend of coach, consultant, and strategist. I’ve just taken things to the next level and enrolled in a coach training course called Coach The Life Coach.

Time to improve my skills and serve my clients at a deeper level.

Social Life

When I moved down to Tampa, Florida I cleaned my slate. I got rid of every negative influence I had back in Maryland. I literally got a new phone number and stopped talking to those people. Sounds harsh, but it was necessary.

I neglected the shit out of my social life for the first 8 months I lived here. I never went to meetups. I never connected with other entrepreneurs. I didn’t do anything.

Being a natural introvert, I didn’t really mind for about 3 or 4 months, but after awhile it got bad.

So after being depressed and lonely for awhile I decided to make a conscious effort to connect with people offline and make some friends. It has paid off.

Now my weekends are booked and I get to spend almost all of my time with like-minded individuals.

Note: Don’t delay your social life. Make that shit a concerted effort. Find people, connect, and enjoy.

Dating

I don’t date anymore. I still talk, flirt, and meet new women every week, but I’m almost never compatible with them.

Every girl my age I’ve met (so far) is going to college and either focused on getting the coveted diploma or partying until their brain melts.

But it’s okay. I’ve known for awhile that following your purpose in life changes other aspects. I don’t mind not dating.

When I see a girl who I’m not compatible with, it doesn’t matter. There’s far important things in life.

Being Embarrassed

Embarrassment comes when you don’t want to feel vulnerable.

In the past, I’ve felt pretty embarrassed about living with my parents and not making loads of money.

When people asked me “Why’d you move down to Tampa?” I’d pause and stammer my words. But  these things don’t matter worth shit.

I’m building up my businesses without having to pay rent. Sounds good to me. No more avoiding the question.

Business & Finances

If you know my background, you know that I did SEO writing. It was my first successful business. But I hated it.

The monotony of writing random shit every day crushed my soul so I got out of it. I gave up lucrative jobs and decided to focus on this blog.

With minimal expenses and the decent money I made from SEO writing, I knew I could go a long time making zero money. But as time progressed, the bank account started to shrink.

And then…something terrible happened. I was walking home from the library one day with my laptop and to-do list in my waterproof backpack and it started to rain. I thought “Whatever, it’s just water.”

But in Florida, there is no such thing as a drizzle. It rains hard or it doesn’t rain at all. So when I got home, I opened up my backpack and found that my waterproof backpack wasn’t so waterproof.

Water leaked through and got into my laptop. I desperately tried to get the water out of it, but it was too late. When I tried to turn it on it almost caught on fire. “Oh shit.”

Laptops are expensive and money is tight.

I have decided to re-enter the SEO writing biz. But I’m doing it differently this time. No more writing random shit all day. I’ve learned my lesson.

Now I will be outsourcing everything. I’m taking the massive amount of knowledge I learned since my first time around and applying it to the biz. You can check out my sexy new site over here → http://kevincoleseo.com.

Right now I’m working on my Dad’s laptop. But this experience has allowed me to see the power of community.

Not only did I receive countless recommendations for a new laptop, I had a friend offer to lend me his laptop. Community is everything.

Travel Plans

More than anything in the world – I want to travel. That’s one of the major reasons I got into this business in the first place.

I have been working at this for 16 months and have made substantial progress. But obviously I’m still in the country.

The game plan is to leave within the first 6 months of 2014. My SEO writing biz along with my coaching will keep me afloat.

If you’re going to be in Thailand in the first half or 2014, I will see you there!

Calls, Video, And Other Forms of Communication

Writing is great. I’ve gotten really good at it and have written well over 120k words this year. But sometimes it sucks. So I’ve started to ponder other means of communication.

A podcast may be in the works but I’ll know more with time. I’m also going to start doing more video blog posts in the coming months as well.

I have been scheduling a massive amount of calls every week now. These are with other entrepreneurs, designers, programmers, bloggers, writers, and world-changers. This is seriously fun.

Something I’m considering doing is recording these calls and putting them out into the world.

I’ve always enjoyed Joe Rogan’s podcast because it’s long form conversation with no agenda. Forget bullshit Q & A. Just get some interesting people together and record it. Thoughts on this?

Month of Honesty

My month of honesty is in full swing.

It’s been really tough. I’ve had to have some hard conversations including…

  • Telling the world about my involvement in the pick-up industry. (Including my mom)
  • Talking to my Dad about our strained relationship.

These are the kind of conversations we avoid. They are emotionally taxing and scare the shit out of us. But I’ve found they are not nearly as bad as you think.

You just have to do it.

The world will not end when you have a tough conversation. Being honest will lift the weight off your shoulders.

If you are avoiding a tough conversation – address it. Don’t let your emotions boil up inside you.

Another thing I’ve found throughout this month is that I tell a shit load of little lies without even realizing it.

Most of the time these are exaggerations or variations of the truth. It’s very rare that it’s a total outright lie.

But they are there. All the time.

A lot of these little lies pop up because I want to tell a more interesting story. But regardless of my intentions they are still lies.

So I’ve been working on stopping them. I’ve started to force myself to tell the truth.

It doesn’t matter if that exaggeration is a more interesting story.

The truth is all that matters.

Thoughts On This Format?

What do you guys think of the transparency chronicles? Any suggestions on ways to change it or improve?

Photo Cred: Dan Conway

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24 comments

  1. Kevin – raw and honest. In this one post, I learned more about you than through our conversations!

    Personally, the transparency chronicles rock. Give us an update on a regular basis. We’ll support you through it. This is what community is about, right?

    Tim Brownson is cool – great choice to go for his course. It will add more to your credentials and experience I’m sure.

    Couldn’t agree more on the power of community. When I moved to Paris, it became very apparent after a couple of months that I needed people in my life. And now I have such amazing friends (online and offline) that I cannot believe how great his life is.

    So great to witness the progress you’re making, Kevin. Rock on !

    • Kevin Cole /

      Glad you like it Razwana. I definitely tried to share as much as possible.

      Community is everything no matter where you go. Totally agree!

  2. Hah, you’re right! We both went similar routes this week. Great minds think alike.

    I personally love the format of The Transparency Chronicles. It’s real and uncensored. That’s exactly what gets my attention.

    Best of luck with your travel plans!

  3. We have kind of similar philosophies on dating, except I have barely ever dated and I’m not sure I ever flirt, although my friends tell me otherwise.. which used to confuse me but I guess I can understand. I am a very straight forward person, so if I find someone interesting, it will be painfully obvious.. I will probably start more or less ignoring the other people there and stuff. And make an effort to make jokes and things like that… maybe it counts as flirting.

    But I am in that phase you just got out of… except I am closing in on my 12th month of absolutely no social life. I have some very negative associations with Norway and trying to socialize so it’s a bit more difficult. Plus I tend to fall back in a more timid character when I speak Norwegian, it’s quite odd… and I don’t like it at all.

    I’ve always wanted to ask my family if they ever realized that I was depressed.. partly because I want to know whether I am THE born conman or not, but mostly I just feel a need to know.. even if I have been able to gradually shift my perspective.

    On the awesome side of things though, I think we might perhaps end up meeting in Thailand next year if you go later into the first half. I still have to see if I can get my feet off the ground fast enough to go travelling by then though.

    And I would totally listen to/participate in your podcast(if/when I am deemed interesting enough!).

    • Kevin Cole /

      Being straight forward is ultimately a good thing when it comes to dating. No lies. No false personalities. Just straight intentional desire. That will probably filter out a shit load of girls but that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

      12 months of no socializing sounds brutal man. I have a friend who used to live in Norway and he said there wasn’t much of an entrepreneurial community there. But he also didn’t make a conscious effort to look for those people either. Try Meetup.com, I bet you’ll find people.

      At this point it is looking like the second half will be when I head over. Probably around March or April. Looking forward to seeing you over there bro.

      Also, I’d love to have you on the podcast when it launches.

  4. I’m loving your plan Kev,

    You’ve actually given me an idea to do something similar as i’ve been lacking in productivity myself as of late and need something to kick me up the backside. I recently filmed myself talking to random strangers with a spy cam I bought a while ago and didn’t make use of until recently. Don’t know what to do with the footage and may possibly use it on my blog.

    But yeah it’s been quite tough for me generally this year. I suppose being unemployed for a year hasn’t helped. I think if it wasn’t for my blog, I would be on anti-depressants lol So it’s been a good solution to vent and clear my mind.

    Awesome that you’re going to Thailand. My plan is to go there for my 30th birthday, which isn’t too far away now. Damn I feel old compared to everyone else lol

    • Kevin Cole /

      Definitely publish that footage man. I’d love to see it.

      Being unemployed can definitely be tough. I’ve been working on businesses full-time from home since January and it can be really brutal when you’re not making money. You never feel like you are doing enough. That’s why I think it’s so beneficial to have a job while setting this up.

      Don’t feel old bro. 30 is so young. You’re still wayyyy ahead of 99% of the population when it comes to forging your own path.

  5. Hey buddy – I’m a huge fan of this format, and really enjoyed the article! Huge, mad props to you for making the decision to hunker down and do what you actually want to do. The respect I have for folks who are able to set conventions aside and actually do what they want (when they’re working in a good direction, that is), has grown immensely over the last several months. Keep kicking ass!!

    • Kevin Cole /

      Thanks brother. Glad you like it.

      The feeling is mutual. Anyone who decides to forge their own path is a winner in my book.

  6. KC! Your move to Tampa and cutting off of ties to Maryland is impressive for how complete and drastic is was. I am afraid many do not understand to what lengths they must sometimes go to get a reset. You can’t just take a nap and consider that a reset. Great article – again!!!

    • Kevin Cole /

      It was definitely drastic, but totally necessary.

      You’re right that a lot of people don’t realize what lengths they have to go to surround themselves only with like-minded people.

      I’m so glad I did it.

  7. Interesting stuff there Kevin. You’ve ventured into the pickup world (and actually applied it) and moved away from your home town. Both of these are great comfort zone busters and I salute you for it.

    But hey, don’t worry about telling a few lies. As I said to James Bond, when he came round for a couple of drinks the other week, “James, don’t worry about offending anyone, you do your thing, don’t tone down that shit. Also, Skyfall wasn’t that great so sort it out.” I think he understood.

    We go way back…

    • Kevin Cole /

      Hahahaha that may be the best comment I’ve ever had.

      Kudos to you sir :)

  8. Are people honestly complaining about the profanity in your writing? I can’t say that I’ve noticed it being overly profane. Perhaps my tolerance is a little higher than others.

    I love the idea of being raw, open and honest. It can build a connection with readers and trust. On the other hand, if readers think the post is too personal, they might not think there is anything in it for them. A good balance could work really well.

    Anyway, I think that’s a great tip to keep up with your social life. I’m an introvert too so I sometimes let it go. When I moved away by myself several years ago, I neglected my social life for too long. When I finally got it going, I realized just how much I truly needed it.

    • Kevin Cole /

      I’ve had a few complaints but I definitely think that each person’s tolerance (or intolerance) for profanity varies. I definitely have a higher tolerance for it.

      You make a really good point about balancing personal writing with informative writing. It can’t be all “Me, Me, Me” every post. A little bit of both is totally required.

      Great to hear you got your social life back on track after neglecting it for awhile. It’s remarkable how important it is.

  9. Hi Kevin,

    I really appreciate your honestly, my friend.

    I can really resonate with what you said about having those difficult conversations, which we usually avoid.

    Difficult conversations, as you explained, lift a great weight off us. They are essential for us to have because they allow us and others to move on in life.

    Thank you.

  10. Kevin Cole /

    No question about it Hiten. Difficult conversations aren’t something we look forward to. But once it’s over, we’re always glad we did it.

    Glad this resonated with you man.

  11. First, I’m thrilled you’re training with Tim. That is awesome and the power of a twitter connection!

    I appreciate learning about all different aspects of your life and the transparency you’re sharing here, Kevin.

    I think the positive side is we learn more about you and your experiences. The only suggestion I would have is how to balance that with value to the reader? Your life and lessons in and of themselves is likely value enough. And very different from many other bloggers out there giving advice.

    You’ll have to tell us if that works or if there’s a better way to deliver valuable content to us. Oh, I’m sure you’ll be hearing from us too in the comments section :)

    Good work on kicking up your seo biz again – there’s always a need for ethical, effective seo.

    • Kevin Cole /

      The power of a twitter connection indeed! That one certainly turned out alright haha.

      I definitely agree that a balance between personal stories and informative blog posts is good. It’s a solid blend. But I’ll figure it out as I go along :)

  12. It’s great to hear about what you are doing! Keep taking action my friend. Your going to do great things.

  13. Dude, you’re blowing my mind. I can relate to you so much. This is weird…

    I don’t share your passion for traveling though. I don’t know why I don’t like it.

    I would much rather spend 5 years learning how to do a back flip on a motocross bike than visit every country in the world. I don’t know why, I’m just like that.

    • Kevin Cole /

      Everyone has their own preferences. A back flip on a motorcycle sounds pretty awesome though :)

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